Marriage Should Deepen Over the Years

The modern view of marriage is that dating is great, the honeymoon is great, engagement is great, but marriage is a drag.  In fact, this is why so many are choosing to cohabitate rather than tie the knot.  They have seen so many miserable marriages that they assume there is something wrong with the institution of marriage itself. 

There's a song from the late 60s that goes something like this:  "We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout, and we've been talking about Jackson ever since."  The idea is that their relationship was at its best before they got married, not after.  That's the feeling of so many these days.

I heard about tombstone that read, "To my darling Walter, may he rest in peace until we meet again."  Poor Walter!  Apparently his marriage was so bad that he had to die to get relief!  This is the view of the world.  Marriage makes life miserable until one of you dies. 

But the truth is that marriage is supposed to be like wine, not milk.  It is supposed to get better with age.  How can you make sure this happens to your marriage?

First, keep growing in Christ.  Christ-like character is the oil of relationships.  Without oil, the engine will break down; but with the oil Christ-like character, your relationship will run smooth.  The more you grow in Christ, the better your relationship will become.  If you never stop growing in Christ, then your marriage will never stop getting better. 

Second, keep learning about marriage.  I've counseled married couples who are struggling, only to find out that they have never cracked a book about marriage.  People go to school to learn how to be successful in their careers, but they assume they can be successful in marriage without any training.  Study what the Bible says about marriage.  Watch videos about marriage.  And read the best books about marriage.  As long as you keep learning about marriage, your marriage will keep getting better.

If your marriage is not working, it is not because there is something wrong with marriage, it is because there is something wrong with you.  Improving your marriage is not so much about working on your marriage as it is about working on yourself.  If you keep getting better, your marriage will keep getting better.