Why is Adultery Wrong? (16 Reasons)

The seventh commandment in Exodus 20:14 (CSB) says, “Do not commit adultery.”

There are 16 reasons God forbids this behavior.

1) It disobeys God.

Deuteronomy 13:4 says, “You must follow the Lord your God and fear him. You must keep his commands and listen to him; you must worship him and remain faithful to him.”

Dave Ferguson, in his book The Big Idea, wrote, “For a Christ follower, the measure of maturity is determined by the speed of obedience.  The most mature Christ follower is not the person who has attended the most church events or accumulated the most information about Jesus, but rather the person whose heart is most transformed.  And transformation is seen when a person hears God and responds with swift obedience.”

2) It defeats marriage.

The Bible says that the only legitimate reason to seek a divorce is sexual sin (Mt 19:9).

Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is to be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.”

Phil Johnson said, “Adultery ruins the first and most important human relationship.”

Mark Driscoll tells the story of a vine that he grew at his house.  His goal was that the vine would grow cover a large part of the house.  The growth was slow; the vine required a lot of water and nutrients.  It required pest control.  But eventually it grew and covered a large part of the house like he wanted.  But then one day as he was weed eating he accidentally severed the base of the vine; completely severed it.  In one instant, in one act, he destroyed the vine that he devoted years to growing.  He compared that vine to marriage.  A great marriage takes years to grow, but gradually it grows to bless you more and more every day.  But that wonderful marriage and all the years you put into it can be defeated by one single act of adultery.  It’s not worth it. 

Mark Driscoll said, “The most important day of your marriage is not the wedding day, but the last day.  Will it come prematurely; will you sever your own vine; will it come painfully; or will it come pleasantly?”

3) It decimates God’s gift of sex.  

Philip Ryken wrote, “The traditional Roman Catholic view of sex was utilitarian.  Intercourse was only for procreation, the propagation of the human race.  The biblical view of sex is not merely procreational, but also relational, and even recreational.  Sex is for love, for pleasure, and for joy.  And it is in order to protect this joy that God has given us the seventh commandment.” 

Philip Ryken goes on, “Why is adultery in all its forms forbidden?  Not because sex is bad, but because it is designed to be such a powerful force for good.  Sex is like superglue.  When used properly intercourse seals the bond of matrimony.  It is the glue – the covenant cement, as Tim Keller calls it – that helps to hold a marriage secure.  This is why husbands and wives are required to have sexual relations….  God has made us sexual beings to seal the love between a husband and wife.  Their sexual union cements their total spiritual communion….  Since sex is like superglue, squeezing it out at the wrong time or in the wrong place always creates an awful mess.  The wrong things get joined together, and getting them unstuck again tears at the soul.” 

4) It disadvantages children.

Where there is adultery, there is usually divorce, and divorce is detrimental to children.

Writing for Breakpoint, Eric Metaxas said, “Children from divorced or never-married homes are more likely to die in infancy, more likely to get divorced themselves or become unwed parents later in life, more likely to live in poverty, more likely to fail in school, less likely to graduate from college and get a good job, less likely to be in good physical health, more likely to abuse drugs as teens and adults, have lower life expectancies, have higher rates of mental illness, be at greater risk of suicide and child abuse—and on and on.”

5) It dishonors God.

1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God.”

In Jeremiah 29:29 God called the sin of adultery an outrage.

After King David committed adultery he wrote in Psalm 51:4, “Against you—you alone—I have sinned and done this evil in your sight. So you are right when you pass sentence; you are blameless when you judge.”

6) It distances you from God.

Matthew 5:8 says, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”

Hebrews 12:14 says, “Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord.”

Psalm 24:3-4 says, “3 Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? 4 The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not appealed to what is false, and who has not sworn deceitfully.”

7) It deteriorates your health.

Proverbs 5:11 says, “At the end of your life, you will lament when your physical body has been consumed.”

And in Proverbs 7:26 he said, “For she has brought many down to death; her victims are countless.”

8) It decreases your influence.

Proverbs 6:32-33 (CSB) says, “32 The one who commits adultery lacks sense; whoever does so destroys himself. 33 He will get a beating and dishonor, and his disgrace will never be removed.”

9) It debases you.

Jeremiah compares adulterers to horses “neighing after someone else’s wife.”

Mark Driscoll wrote, “An animal conquers others; a Spirit-filled man will conquer himself.” 

10) It drains your resources.

Luke 15:20  “But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your assets with prostitutes, you slaughtered the fattened calf for him.” 

11) It disciplines you.

Galatians 6:7-8 says, “7 Don’t be deceived: God is not mocked. For whatever a person sows he will also reap.”

Proverbs 6:29 says, “So it is with the one who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.”

Hebrews 13:4b says, “God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.”

12) It damages you.

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body.”

1 Corinthians 6:13b says, “However, the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”

13) It destroys two souls.

Ephesians 5:5 (CSB) says, “For know and recognize this: Every sexually immoral or impure or greedy person, who is an idolater, does not have an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.”

Thomas Watson wrote, “The delight lasts a moment, the torment an eternity.  Who for a cup of pleasure would drink a sea of wrath?” 

14) It distorts the picture that marriage is intended to portray.

Ephesians 5 says that the husband’s sacrificial love is to illustrate Christ’s sacrificial love for the church; and the wife’s submission is to illustrate the church’s submission to Christ.  But adultery destroys this picture.  A man who commits adultery does not love like Christ.  And a woman who commits adultery does not submit like the church.

15) It dirties God’s house.  

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, “18 Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. 19 Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought at a price. So glorify God with your body.”

16) It discourages your spirit.

Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Proverbs 18:14 says, “A person’s spirit can endure sickness, but who can survive a broken spirit?”

Erwin Lutzer said, “When the whole thing becomes known; the rejection; the hurt; the broken hearts and broken relationships.” 

Thomas Watson wrote, “Lust’s practice is to make a joyful entrance, but she leaves in misery.”   And, “When a man has been virtuous, the labor is gone, but the comfort remains; but when he has been vicious and unclean, the pleasure is gone, but the sting remains.” 

Adultery is no small sin.  It is severe.  Adultery is a…

• Sin against God.
• Sin against our body.
• Sin against our partner.
• Sin against our spouse.
• Sin against our partner’s spouse.
• Sin against our children.
• Sin against our partner’s children.

The problem with adultery is that it doesn’t just violate one, but six out of the ten commandments.  It breaks…

• The seventh commandment:  Do not commit adultery.
• The first commandment:  Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
• The ninth commandment:  Do not lie.  Adultery breaks the promise that you made on your wedding day.
• The eighth commandment:  Do not steal.  You are stealing another man’s wife.
• The fifth commandment:  Honor your father and your mother.  Sexual sin shames and breaks the hearts of your parents.
• The tenth commandment:  Do not covet.  All adultery begins by coveting another person’s spouse, or by coveting something that God has not given you.