Gay Marriage: Getting Our Terms Right
In order to have a meaningful and productive debate about gay marriage, we must get our terms right. When we wrongly define words our sentences become confusing, and maybe even meaningless. I think many people have been persuaded to support gay marriage because gay marriage activists have broken the rules of language and communication. They are giving new definitions to old words. Why? Either they are ignorant, or they are purposefully deceiving the masses. Let's take a brief look at some of the words which gay activists use incorrectly.
Homophobia. I've touched on this idea in a recent post. Gay activists accuse Christians of homophobia. The dictionary defines it as "irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals." I've never met a Christian who is afraid of homosexuality. We simply obey the ancient, biblical Christian teaching that homosexuality is a sin because we fear God (Matthew 10:28). If we do fear homosexuality, it is only in the sense that we fear offending God, and in the sense that if God forbids it, then it must not lead to human flourishing. As well, Christians do not have an aversion to homosexuals. Aversion means "a strong feeling of not liking something." While Christians should dislike all sinful behaviors, to say that Christians dislike homosexuals is both illogical and dishonest. It is illogical because believing a behavior to be immoral is not the equivalent of disliking or hating the person. Otherwise parents hate their children when they rebuke them for immoral behavior (such as lying or stealing). And it is dishonest to say that Christians dislike or hate homosexuals because Christians are taught to hate the sin and love the sinner. In fact, Christianity teaches love for everyone, including one's enemies.
Discrimination. Another word that is incorrectly used by gay activists is discrimination. What does it actually mean to discriminate? That's kind of tricky, because "discriminate" can mean different things. First, it simply means "to notice and understand that one thing is different from another thing; to recognize a difference between things." It's not wrong to notice and recognize that things are different. Discrimination is vital for survival. Imagine how harmful it would be if you did not discriminate between your food and the glass plate holding your food. There is nothing wrong with that kind of discrimination. The second definition of discrimination is "to unfairly treat a person or group of people differently from other groups of people." And according to this definition, Christians do not discriminate against homosexuals. Since we believe that homosexuality is a sin, we treat homosexuals the same way we treat all sinners. We hate the sin, but we love the sinner. We love and serve and accept the person, but we cannot celebrate and support their sin. As an example, Christian business owners treat their homosexual customers the same as all their customers -- with love, respect, and good service. But, Christian business owners refuse to serve a gay wedding because that would be celebrating and supporting sin, and Christians refuse to celebrate and support any sin. Christians don't treat homosexuals unfairly. In fact, it is gay activists who want Christians to discriminate by treating the sin of homosexuality different than all other sins.
Equality. When gay activists argue for gay marriage they claim that gays deserve equality, "the quality or state of having the same rights, social status, etc." The implication is that gays do not already have equality, but that is a lie. Every person has the right to get married in all 50 states, whether you are gay or straight, to whomever they choose, as long as they are the opposite sex. There is no actual inequality. Gays are not allowed to marry someone of the same sex, but neither can straights. We are all bound by the same laws. When a baker refuses to bake for a gay wedding, there is no inequality. That gay baker would refuse to celebrate and support any form of sin. The real inequality in this generation is that our society promotes those who hold to the idea that homosexuality is moral, but it is becoming increasingly hostile to those who hold to the idea that homosexuality is immoral.
Religious liberty. Gay activists seem to disagree with Christians about the definition of religious liberty. We all agree it is an unalienable right, but what is it? Is it merely the freedom to hold certain religious beliefs, or is it the freedom to express those opinions in society through one's words and actions? When a Christian business owner refuses a gay wedding, or a Christian orphanage refuses a gay couple, they say it is an expression of their religion. But gay activists disagree, claiming it has nothing to do with religious liberty. So which is it? The U.S. Constitution states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." In other words, the state has no right to penalize someone for living according to their religious beliefs. Only in the most extreme cases should the state step in and restrict religious expression (for example, a religious practice that might involve child sacrifice). Otherwise, the state must be extremely careful to respect religious expression. When a baker refuses a gay wedding on religious grounds, the intent is not to hurt or offend gay people; the intent is to obey God. To serve a gay wedding would be to celebrate and support a sinful behavior. Thus, this is absolutely about religious liberty. For the state to place itself above God and demand civil obedience over religious obedience is horrible. And for an individual to invoke the power of the state to try to force another individual to violate their religious convictions is hateful. When you demand that I disobey God in order to serve you, you are demanding that I worship you instead of God.
Marriage. The last word that needs to be defined is marriage. Gay activists ask, "Why shouldn't gays be allowed to marry?" First of all, they can marry anyone they choose, as long as it is someone of the opposite sex. Again, there is no inequality; we all must abide by the same marriage laws. Nobody can actually marry whomever they want. There must be mutual consent. They must be of legal age. They cannot be closely related. They must be human. We cannot have multiple spouses. And finally, they must be of the opposite sex. But why must we marry someone of the opposite sex? Because by definition that's what marriage is. Marriage is between one man and one woman. Marriage is the foundation of a new family, and only the marriage of a man and a woman can biologically produce a family. This has been the definition of marriage throughout the entire world, among all religions, for all of human history. Only recently has that definition been challenged. And that's why gay marriage is not possible. It doesn't make sense. A man cannot marry a monkey, or a tree, or a truck, because that's not marriage. And a man cannot marry another man because that's not the definition of marriage.
Homophobia. I've touched on this idea in a recent post. Gay activists accuse Christians of homophobia. The dictionary defines it as "irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals." I've never met a Christian who is afraid of homosexuality. We simply obey the ancient, biblical Christian teaching that homosexuality is a sin because we fear God (Matthew 10:28). If we do fear homosexuality, it is only in the sense that we fear offending God, and in the sense that if God forbids it, then it must not lead to human flourishing. As well, Christians do not have an aversion to homosexuals. Aversion means "a strong feeling of not liking something." While Christians should dislike all sinful behaviors, to say that Christians dislike homosexuals is both illogical and dishonest. It is illogical because believing a behavior to be immoral is not the equivalent of disliking or hating the person. Otherwise parents hate their children when they rebuke them for immoral behavior (such as lying or stealing). And it is dishonest to say that Christians dislike or hate homosexuals because Christians are taught to hate the sin and love the sinner. In fact, Christianity teaches love for everyone, including one's enemies.
Discrimination. Another word that is incorrectly used by gay activists is discrimination. What does it actually mean to discriminate? That's kind of tricky, because "discriminate" can mean different things. First, it simply means "to notice and understand that one thing is different from another thing; to recognize a difference between things." It's not wrong to notice and recognize that things are different. Discrimination is vital for survival. Imagine how harmful it would be if you did not discriminate between your food and the glass plate holding your food. There is nothing wrong with that kind of discrimination. The second definition of discrimination is "to unfairly treat a person or group of people differently from other groups of people." And according to this definition, Christians do not discriminate against homosexuals. Since we believe that homosexuality is a sin, we treat homosexuals the same way we treat all sinners. We hate the sin, but we love the sinner. We love and serve and accept the person, but we cannot celebrate and support their sin. As an example, Christian business owners treat their homosexual customers the same as all their customers -- with love, respect, and good service. But, Christian business owners refuse to serve a gay wedding because that would be celebrating and supporting sin, and Christians refuse to celebrate and support any sin. Christians don't treat homosexuals unfairly. In fact, it is gay activists who want Christians to discriminate by treating the sin of homosexuality different than all other sins.
Equality. When gay activists argue for gay marriage they claim that gays deserve equality, "the quality or state of having the same rights, social status, etc." The implication is that gays do not already have equality, but that is a lie. Every person has the right to get married in all 50 states, whether you are gay or straight, to whomever they choose, as long as they are the opposite sex. There is no actual inequality. Gays are not allowed to marry someone of the same sex, but neither can straights. We are all bound by the same laws. When a baker refuses to bake for a gay wedding, there is no inequality. That gay baker would refuse to celebrate and support any form of sin. The real inequality in this generation is that our society promotes those who hold to the idea that homosexuality is moral, but it is becoming increasingly hostile to those who hold to the idea that homosexuality is immoral.
Religious liberty. Gay activists seem to disagree with Christians about the definition of religious liberty. We all agree it is an unalienable right, but what is it? Is it merely the freedom to hold certain religious beliefs, or is it the freedom to express those opinions in society through one's words and actions? When a Christian business owner refuses a gay wedding, or a Christian orphanage refuses a gay couple, they say it is an expression of their religion. But gay activists disagree, claiming it has nothing to do with religious liberty. So which is it? The U.S. Constitution states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." In other words, the state has no right to penalize someone for living according to their religious beliefs. Only in the most extreme cases should the state step in and restrict religious expression (for example, a religious practice that might involve child sacrifice). Otherwise, the state must be extremely careful to respect religious expression. When a baker refuses a gay wedding on religious grounds, the intent is not to hurt or offend gay people; the intent is to obey God. To serve a gay wedding would be to celebrate and support a sinful behavior. Thus, this is absolutely about religious liberty. For the state to place itself above God and demand civil obedience over religious obedience is horrible. And for an individual to invoke the power of the state to try to force another individual to violate their religious convictions is hateful. When you demand that I disobey God in order to serve you, you are demanding that I worship you instead of God.
Marriage. The last word that needs to be defined is marriage. Gay activists ask, "Why shouldn't gays be allowed to marry?" First of all, they can marry anyone they choose, as long as it is someone of the opposite sex. Again, there is no inequality; we all must abide by the same marriage laws. Nobody can actually marry whomever they want. There must be mutual consent. They must be of legal age. They cannot be closely related. They must be human. We cannot have multiple spouses. And finally, they must be of the opposite sex. But why must we marry someone of the opposite sex? Because by definition that's what marriage is. Marriage is between one man and one woman. Marriage is the foundation of a new family, and only the marriage of a man and a woman can biologically produce a family. This has been the definition of marriage throughout the entire world, among all religions, for all of human history. Only recently has that definition been challenged. And that's why gay marriage is not possible. It doesn't make sense. A man cannot marry a monkey, or a tree, or a truck, because that's not marriage. And a man cannot marry another man because that's not the definition of marriage.
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