Do This One Thing And It Will Transform Your Marriage
If you haven't read Willard Harley's books on marriage, then stop what you are doing and get to reading. His Needs, Her Needs, and Love Busters are two of the five best books on marriage in existence.
One of Dr. Harley's key concepts is that if you want a great marriage, then you need to strive stay "in love." Being "in love" is when you find someone of the opposite sex irresistible, so that you want to be with them all the time. You remember that feeling, right? Dr. Harley argues that if you are not "in love," you will gradually grow apart and your marriage will deteriorate into misery. Then your priority will be staying away from your spouse as much as possible.
So how do you fall in love and stay in love? How do you reignite that "loving feeling?" One thing: Make your spouse feel good. I know, it sounds really basic. But believe me, it's really powerful. The reason you and your spouse fell in love with each other is that you made each other feel good -- so good that you found each other irresistible. The reason that married couples fall out of love is that they stop making each other feel good, and many times they start making each other feel bad. In fact, married couples often make each other feel so bad that they begin to hate each other. Once they were lovers, and now they are haters! It's all about how you make your spouse feel.
All you need to do to fall in love and stay in love is to make each other feel good. One day at a time, one decision at a time, one behavior at a time, one word at a time, do what makes your spouse feel good, and avoid doing anything that makes them feel bad. In time you will like each other again, and eventually you will find each other totally and completely irresistible!
One of Dr. Harley's key concepts is that if you want a great marriage, then you need to strive stay "in love." Being "in love" is when you find someone of the opposite sex irresistible, so that you want to be with them all the time. You remember that feeling, right? Dr. Harley argues that if you are not "in love," you will gradually grow apart and your marriage will deteriorate into misery. Then your priority will be staying away from your spouse as much as possible.
So how do you fall in love and stay in love? How do you reignite that "loving feeling?" One thing: Make your spouse feel good. I know, it sounds really basic. But believe me, it's really powerful. The reason you and your spouse fell in love with each other is that you made each other feel good -- so good that you found each other irresistible. The reason that married couples fall out of love is that they stop making each other feel good, and many times they start making each other feel bad. In fact, married couples often make each other feel so bad that they begin to hate each other. Once they were lovers, and now they are haters! It's all about how you make your spouse feel.
All you need to do to fall in love and stay in love is to make each other feel good. One day at a time, one decision at a time, one behavior at a time, one word at a time, do what makes your spouse feel good, and avoid doing anything that makes them feel bad. In time you will like each other again, and eventually you will find each other totally and completely irresistible!
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