Women: 5 Ways To Increase Your Inner Beauty
1) Submission.
1 Peter 3:1 says, “In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live.”
Submission means to voluntarily allow your husband to be your leader, giving him the final say.
Remember, submission does not mean that the wife is inferior. Men and women are equal in value, but have different roles in the social structure of the family. The man is to love and lead, and the wife is to submit and support. Submission does not mean that the couple can’t make decisions together, or that the wife can’t offer input. In fact, I recommend you make every decision together and that you never move forward unless you are both in enthusiastic agreement. But in the end, submission means that the wife lets the husband have the final say.
A few months ago we took Andrew to the orthodontist, and surprise, he needed braces. After insurance the cost was about $1,300. The orthodontist gave us two payment options. We could pay around $100 a month, no interest, until it is paid off in about a year. Or we could pay the full amount in cash up front and they will give us a $70 discount. So Lydia and I talked about it. I preferred the monthly payment plan; and she preferred the cash plan. What did we do? Lydia said, “Andy, here’s what I would prefer, and this is why, but it’s up to you.” She gave me the final say. Do you know what that does to me? That made me want to prefer her and pay the full amount in cash, which is what we did. Her submission is very attractive. It’s like reverse psychology or something. She tricks me into doing what she wants every time. “Here’s what I want," she says, "but it’s up to you. I trust you.” It works every time.
2) Purity.
1 Peter 3:1-2 (CSB) says, “1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives.”
The next virtue is purity. It means chastity, or sexual purity.
One of the things that a wife most longs for from her husband is complete and total sexual purity. A wife wants her husband to be faithful physically, visually, mentally, and emotionally. What’s the best way for a wife to inspire and influence her husband to live that way? By setting the example. Exemplify the purity that you want to see in your husband.
Guard your hearts, ladies. Recognize how affairs begin. They begin as friendships – with a coworker, a neighbor, a church member, one of your husband’s friends, or a brother-in-law.
Be careful. One time I counseled a couple who was having serious marriage problems. The husband was upset because his wife spent a significant amount of time talking on the phone, going to lunch, texting, emailing, and Facebooking her ex-husband. And she just couldn’t understand why her husband didn't approve. She said she would never do anything wrong; they were just friends. Can we say “clueless”? If she doesn’t end that relationship, it’s only a matter of time before she cheats on her husband with her ex-husband.
3) Reverence.
1 Peter 3:2 says, "when they observe your pure, reverent lives.”
The third virtue to cultivate in order to attract your husband and build a great marriage is reverence. Reverence is sometimes translated "fear." This simply means be a God-fearing woman. In other words, be a fully-devoted Christ-follower. Let your husband see a living, breathing example of what it looks like to be fully-devoted.
Have you heard of a Triangular Relationship? God created marriage to work like this. Picture a triangle, with God at the top corner, your spouse on a bottom corner, and you on the other bottom corner. As you seek Christ with all your heart, and as your husband seeks Christ with all his heart, God draws you closer and closer together; your marriage gets stronger and healthier.
Right now, we’re not talking about your husband. We’re talking about you. So here’s what you need to know. As you live a fully-devoted life, your example becomes a powerful magnet that attracts your husband to Jesus.
Look back 1 Peter 3:1. “1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live.”
Your example will inspire your husband to seek Jesus. And then when you are both seeking Jesus, the power of the Triangular Relationship comes into play.
4) Gentleness.
The next two virtues are found in verses 3-4. “3 Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry, 4 but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
If you want to build a great marriage, cultivate the inner virtue of gentleness. If you want to attract your husband, cultivate gentleness.
What is gentleness? Stay calm and kind, even when you’re angry. Gentleness is the way you respond to your husband when he makes you angry, or hurts you, or frustrates you. Rather than losing your temper, and yelling, and threating, and hitting things, and shooting insults, you stay calm and kind.
Look at Proverbs 25:15 (AMP). “By patience and a calm spirit a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft and gentle tongue breaks the bone [of resistance].”
In your home your husband is the ruler; he is the leader. How do you influence him to be a better man? A better father? A better Christian? Is it through harsh words, insults, yelling and screaming, throwing and hitting things? No. The Bible says the key is a gentle spirit. A gentle spirit will persuade your husband, and will break his resistance.
5) Quietness.
The last virtue that Peter mentions is quietness, or a quiet spirit. This doesn’t mean that you need to be quiet and not speak. The word quietness means “undisturbing.” The idea is to keep the peace in your marriage.
There are two simple ways to keep the peace in your marriage. Avoid complaining. And avoid arguing.
Look at Philippians 2:14 (NLT). “Do everything without complaining and arguing.”
Nobody likes a person who is always complaining and arguing. Nobody is attracted to that. Nobody wants to live with that. No man ever said, “Do you know what I really want in a wife? A woman who complains and argues. That just sounds like bliss.”
I remember reading a book called Every Man’s Marriage, by Stephen Arterburn, in which he said that a husband’s deepest desire, his greatest desire in marriage is not sexual intimacy; it’s not an attractive wife. Do you know what it is? It’s his wife’s happiness. Isn’t that interesting? God created men so that what they most want in marriage is for their wives to be happy. When a man’s wife is happy, it makes him feel good about himself. It makes him feel like a good man. So what do you think it does to a man when his wife is complaining and arguing? It’s not attractive. And it makes him miserable. Do your best to keep the peace in your home.
Five ways to increase your inner beauty. Cultivate them, and they will attract your husband to you.
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