The Key to Your Success: Responsibility
If anyone had an excuse to not achieve anything with his life, it was Joseph. He was betrayed by his brothers, who sold him into slavery. While serving as a slave in a foreign country, he was falsely accused of sexual assault and sent to prison. While in prison he helped two of Pharaoh's employees, both of whom forgot about him when they were reinstated. According to today's standards, Joseph was the ultimate victim. He had every reason to complain, to turn to crime, to sink into depression, to commit suicide, to be bitter. But Joseph didn't do any of those things. In spite of his trials, Joseph maintained his integrity, his loyalty to God, his work ethic, and the Lord blessed him. You probably know the rest of the story. Eventually God freed him from prison and exalted him to the position of Prime Minister of Egypt. He got married and had children, reconciled with his brothers, was reunited with his father, and was used of God to save millions of people during a time of famine.
Joseph is an example of the virtue of responsibility. Responsibility is accepting that you are where you are because of your own choices. The concept of responsibility is part of the Law of the Harvest -- you reap what you sow (Gal 6:7). Not only does this mean that your input determines your future outcome, but your current outcome is the result of your past input.
Responsibility is the key to success in life. Most people do not succeed and reach their potential because they refuse to take responsibility for their lives. They play the blame game, point the finger, demand reparations, make excuses, complain about others, play the victim, and feel sorry for themselves.
The fact is, everyone has experienced hardship. Everyone is at a disadvantage in some respect. Everyone is privileged one way or another. Everyone has been oppressed and victimized and faced unjust discrimination. Nobody has the perfect life. Yet some people are wildly successful while others live their entire lives in the mud. The difference is responsibility. In life you cannot determine what happens to you, but you can determine your response, and your response is what ultimately determines your destiny.
The idea of responsibility offends and threatens some people. They are terrified of accepting responsibility for their lives. If they can't blame their failure on others, then they must point the finger at themselves and admit that they are the problem. But responsibility should encourage and empower you, if you understand it right. If my present reality is the result of my past choices, then that means that I am in control my life. I can make choices today that will change my future. I am not stuck. I don't have to be a failure. I don't have to be poor. I don't have to be like everyone else in my family. I am response-able.
To grow in responsibility, you must make FIVE HARD CHOICES.
ONE: Stop blaming others. Irresponsible people spend all their time blaming others. They blame others for their failures, for their unhappiness, for their poverty, for their addictions, for their poor health, for their bad relationships, for their bad attitude, etc. When you blame others for your problems, you forfeit control of your life. Worse, you give others control of your life. You are surrendering yourself to the notion that the only way your life can improve is if other people treat you better. Responsible people don't waste time blaming others. You must realize that your biggest enemy is self, not others. Others may have wronged you, but the only person preventing you from the life you want is yourself. You can't change or control others, but you can change and control yourself. Stop focusing on what others have done to you, and focus on the things that you can do to move forward.
TWO: Stop complaining. Complaining is similar to blaming, but the focus is on circumstances rather than people. "I can't succeed because I'm not the right race or gender; I'm too old; I'm too young; the economy isn't good; I'm too busy; I don't have enough time; I'm not talented enough; I don't have the right equipment; I don't have transportation; I come from a poor neighborhood; no one in my family has ever graduated high school, etc." Complaining is surrendering control of your life to circumstances. It is a state of weakness. A waste of time and energy. Rather than complaining, be thankful. Be positive. Focus on your opportunities, your privileges, your advantages, your blessings, and on the things you can do to improve your life. Don't focus on what you can't change, but on the things you can change. Forget about what you lack, and focus on what you have.
THREE: Stop waiting. Irresponsible people are always waiting, never doing. They are waiting for people to change, for circumstances to change, for a miracle from heaven. They are waiting for someone to send them a check in the mail, or to come to their rescue. Let me save you some time. Your life is not going to change until you change. Things won't get better until you get better. The world will not change unless you change it. No one is coming to help you; stop waiting around and pick yourself up. You can change your perspective, your attitude, your behavior, your habits, your thoughts, your words, your approach, your focus, your goals. There's plenty for you to do. Stop waiting and get busy.
FOUR: Stop excusing. Irresponsible people are full of excuses. They always have an excuse for why they are failing, why they are stagnant, why they haven't changed, why they are unhealthy. They have countless excuses, but the big idea is that failure is not their fault. It's out of their hands. Life is out of their control. There is nothing they can do about it. My high school coach used to say all the time, "Excuses are like arm pits; everybody has them and they all stink." We can all come up with excuses if we wanted to, but in the end, excuses don't help you. They only make you feel a little better about not taking responsibility for your life. Stop making excuses and start executing the changes you need to make. Look for solutions. Look for answers. Look for opportunities. Look for workarounds.
FIVE: Stop demanding. Irresponsible people always focus on what they deserve, on what people owe them. They believe they are entitled to the very best simply for breathing. Responsible people focus on working and earning. Your income is determined by the value you bring to the marketplace. The way people treat you is largely determined by the way you treat them and the value you bring to their lives. Stop demanding more and start adding more value. Stop demanding that people treat you better and focus on being a better person and adding more value to others.
Bottom line: Your outcome is determined by your input. Stop playing the victim. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop the excuses, the complaining, the blaming, the waiting, the demanding. If you don't like the outcome that you have been getting, then change your input.
To become a responsible person, it is essential that you put things into perspective. For every trial that you have faced, for every disadvantage you have, for every obstacle in your path, for every injustice that you have experienced, someone out there has experienced far worse and succeeded. Joseph is a Biblical example. Helen Keller is a more contemporary example. She got sick when she was just a baby, leaving her both deaf and blind. But with the help of a young woman named Anne Sullivan, she learned to read braille, to write, and to speak. She learned to communicate with people by reading their lips with her hands. She even learned to understand sign language by feeling people's hands. But she didn't stop there. She became the first deaf and blind person to receive a Bachelor of Arts degree in college, graduating from Radcliffe College of Harvard. She traveled the world (over forty countries) as a motivational speaker and lecturer. She wrote twelve published books and several articles. She became friends with many famous people, including Alexander Graham Bell, Charlie Chaplin, and Mark Twain. She was inducted into the National Women's Hall of Fame, the Alabama Writers Hall of Fame, and lived to the age of 87. Helen Keller had every reason to do nothing with her life; to be depressed; to even commit suicide. But she refused to be controlled by her circumstances. She took responsibility for her life and accomplished far more than most people dream of. If a woman who was deaf and blind from infancy can accomplish so much, so can you!
Now go and be responsible.
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