Don't Use Church to Escape From Your Kids

One of the responses I hear from people when I tell them we are a family-integrated church is, "I don't want to sit next to my kids at church.  I go to church to get a break from my kids!"  This mentality misses the point of church.  It also exposes a common problem with parents today. 

First, this mentality misses the point of church.  The church does not exist to give you a break from your kids.  If that's what you are looking for, hire a baby-sitter.  The church exists to assist you in discipling your kids, not do it for you.  The church's job is to give you an environment in which you can worship, study, and volunteer alongside your child to better disciple them.  The church's job is to give you more discipleship opportunities with your child.  This is what you get at a family-integrated church.  When you worship with your kids, and volunteer with them, and attend small group with them, you get to model your faith and observe their faith.  You can set an example for them, and watch over them.  For many parents, parental discipleship ends at church.  That's not how it should be.  Parental discipleship should continue at church.  You should be training your kids all week long, and then continue that training at church.

Second, this mentality also exposes a common problem with parents today.  The reason many parents do not want to sit next to their kids in church is because their children are not a pleasure to be around.  Their children are not well-trained.  They can't sit still unless they are staring at a screen.  They have a very short attention span.  They are disobedient and disruptive.  This is all too common today.

But one of the strengths of the family-integrated church is that you will become a better parent.  First, you will be highly motivated to make your children behave because you can't just dump them off on someone else.  You have to train them, or they will embarrass you and disturb others.  Second, you will have the opportunity to learn from other parents who have figured out how to control their children.  And third, your child will be impacted by the examples of the other children in church who are behaving themselves. 

I understand the desire to have a break from your kids every once in awhile -- even from well-behaved kids.  Lydia and I have a weekly date-night when we spend the evening alone, just the two of us.  But when it is time for church, put on your parenting-hat and come prepared to disciple (and discipline) your children.