How to Love Your Wife Biblically

The Bible commands husbands to love their wives.  "Husbands, love your wives and don't be bitter toward them (Col 3:19)."  But today's culture is clueless about true love.  The good thing is that true love is clearly defined and described by the Bible.  The following are four traits of Biblical love.

1) Your love must be steadfast.  Unwavering, unconditional, unfailing.  This is how Christ loves us -- even when we are sinners (Rm 5:8).  Love your wife not just when she deserves it, but all the time.  Not just when she is lovely, but even when she is rude.  Not only when she is young, but even when she is old.  Not only when she is beautiful, but even when her beauty fades.  Not just when the house is clean, but even when it is messy.

2) Your love must be sacrificial.  Christ gave up His safety, comfort, and glory to save us.  Our love for our wives must be the same (Eph 5:25).  Put your wife's needs, wants, and desires before your own.  “One of the most important ways we communicate love to our spouse is by what we are willing to give up for them (Jimmy Evans)."

3) Your love must be sinless.  Jesus never sins against us; His love is pure (1 John 3:5).  Our love must be the same.  We must never sin against our wives.  The most important way to love your wife is to commit yourself wholeheartedly to God's will in every arena of your life.  

4) Your love must be servant-minded.  Jesus came not to be served, but to serve (Mk 10:45).  The husband must be the chief-servant of the house.  Dedicate yourself to meeting your wife's needs.  Jimmy Evans points out the four primary needs of every woman:

1. Security.  She needs to feel completely confident that you are committed to meeting her needs, no matter what; even if it means sacrificing your own.  She needs to know without a doubt that she is your number one priority.
2. Open and honest communication.  She wants unhindered access to your thoughts and feelings.  She wants loving, patient, regular communication.  
3. Soft, non-sexual affection.  Hugs, kisses, back rubs, snuggles.  Kind words and sweet compliments.
4. Leadership.  She needs her husband to be a loving initiator of the well-being of the family, but also to treat her like an equal partner.