How to Know That You Are Ready for Marriage

Don't assume that if you are single then that means you are ready to begin dating.  The Lord may want you to stay single for a season.  Singleness is an opportunity to focus on school, spiritual growth, and ministry.

How do you know if you are ready to begin dating?  You are only ready for dating if you are ready for marriage.  Why is that?  Dating is much more serious that our culture treats it.  Dating leads to marriage.  If you're not ready for marriage, dating can lead to a premature marriage.  Dating leads to sexual temptation.  If you're dating before you're ready for marriage, then you will have to fight sexual temptation for a longer season.  Dating is also a big distraction, demanding much of your time and energy.  This time and energy will be stolen from the other things that God wants you to focus on during your season of singleness.

Don't date until you are ready for marriage.  This is a not a set age for everyone.  For one it might be twenty, for another twenty-two.  For one it might be before you finish school, for another it might be after graduation.  It depends on the individual.

This leads to another question.  How do you know if you are ready for marriage?  Should you wait for a vision from heaven?  No.  While it will be different for each individual, the following are essential qualities of someone who is ready for marriage (in no particular order).

One, you think you are ready for marriage.  You've prayed and thought about it, and you honestly think you are ready for the responsibility and challenge of marriage.

Two, your parents agree that you are ready for marriage.  Your parents love you.  They want the best for you.  They want you to get married and have a family of your own.  So if they don't think you are ready for marriage, then you're not ready.  

Three, you are happy being single.  Marriage will not make you happy.  A relationship will not make you happy.  Only a relationship with Jesus Christ will make you happy.  If you haven't learned the secret of contentment and happiness while you are single, then you won't be happy when you are married.  

Four, you are sexually pure.  Sexual temptation does not subside when you get married.  If you are sexually immoral as a single person, then you will be sexually immoral as a married person -- only with more severe consequences.  If you are struggling with porn, masturbation, premarital sex, or if you are living with your boyfriend/girlfriend, then you are nowhere near marriage-ready.

Five, if you are a man, then you are on your way to a good-paying career.  A man's calling is to provide for his wife and children.  Are you headed toward a career that will enable you to support a family?  Deep down, most wives feel called to be full-time homemakers.  Will your career choice enable you to support your wife if she called to be in the home?

Six, you have a good relationship with your parents.  Marriage is tough.  It can be difficult to get along.  Your relationship with your parents is intended to be the training ground for marriage.  If you have a poor relationship with your parents, always fighting and bucking their authority, then you aren't ready to get along with a spouse.

Seven, you are succeeding at school.  Dating and marriage will be a huge distraction from school.  It will make school harder.  If you are struggling to stay afloat in your schoolwork as a single, then you will drown when you get married.

Eight, you are ready to be a parent.  This may be hard to understand, but marriage leads to babies, often sooner than expected.  If you are not ready to be a parent, then you are not ready for marriage.

Nine, you are actively involved in church.  God's plan to take care of your spiritual needs is through the ministry of the church.  Church involvement can make all the difference in your marriage.  If you are disconnected from church, then you are not ready to be connected to a spouse.

Ten, you have a strong relationship with God.  There will be times when the only thing that will keep you together is your walk with God.  The person who is ready for marriage is close to God.  You are practicing the spiritual disciplines necessary to maintain a close walk with God.  You are fully surrendered to God.  You are tithing, serving in church, involved in a small group, having a daily quiet time, etc.