Fathers Must Take the Lead in Child-Rearing

Ephesians 6:4 is clear command for fathers to not only to get involved in raising the kids, but to take the lead.

Many fathers misunderstand their role in the home.  They underestimate their role.  They undervalue their role.  Some fathers see themselves as only a provider.  They don't even think it matters if they are present in the home, as long as they are providing financially.  Some fathers see themselves as only a protector.  Their job is to keep the family safe from harm.  Some fathers see themselves as only a recreation coordinator.  They act more like a big brother, or older friend, or silly uncle than a father.  They see their job as planning fun activities for the family.  Some fathers see themselves as Mom's supporter.  She raises the kids.  She makes all the decisions.  His job is to support her.

But Ephesians 6:4 means that fathers must be involved in raising the kids; involved in discipline, instruction, counseling, encouragement, rule-setting and enforcement, playing, giving affection, etc.  You are to be a partner to your wife in raising the kids.

And more than that, Ephesians 6:4 means that fathers must take the lead in raising the kids.  Sadly, in many homes the wife is the boss, especially when it comes to child-rearing.  Many fathers aren't taking the lead.  They may be displeased with many things in the home, but they aren't doing anything about it.  They may see many red flags in the lives of their children, but they say and do nothing.  They let the mother call the shots.  They are passive, either out of laziness, or to avoid conflict with their wife and children.

But God has made the man the head of the home.  He has put the father in charge, and ultimately, God will hold the father accountable.  One day every father will have to stand before God to give an account of how he raised his children, and no man will be able to say, "It's my wife's fault."

If God has put fathers in charge, then fathers must take charge in the home.  A classic book on leadership is called The Leadership Challenge.  It defines a leader's role as "challenging the process."  A leader's job is to examine the current process, and if it can be improved, to challenge it.  In other words, a leader's job is to look around, see what could be better, and then initiate changes and improvements.  Yes, this is risky.  Yes, this takes courage.  Yes, there will be resistance.  But this is the job of the leader.  And this is the calling of the father -- to lead in the home.  A father's job is to look closely at his children to see what could be better, to see what needs improvement, to see what needs to change, and to initiate that change.

Are the kids behaving poorly?  Are they staying up too late?  Are they not doing their chores well?  Put a stop to it!  Are they hanging out with the wrong crowd?  Are they underperforming at school?  Do they have a pottymouth?  Initiate change!  Do they have a bad attitude?  Are they consuming too many calories?  Are they not getting enough exercise?  Challenge the process!  Do they have too much screen time?  Are they consuming the wrong media?  Do something about it!  Take charge.  Take the lead.  Stir the pot.  Rock the boat.  

Some fathers may object.  "My wife won't support me.  She won't listen to me."  Remember.  God has commanded the father to lead and the wife to submit.  If a wife fails to submit, God will hold her accountable.  But if a father fails to lead, then God will hold him accountable.