Should Christians Attend Gay Weddings?

The well-known preacher Alistair Begg was recently dropped by the American Family Radio for advising Christians to attend gay weddings.  Is he right or wrong?  Well, let's talk about it.  

Christians should NOT attend gay weddings.  Why?  

First, a wedding is marriage ceremony (Merriam-Webster).  According to the Bible, marriage is the union of one man and one woman for a lifetime.  In other words, gay marriage is not actually marriage, and a gay wedding is not actually a wedding.  Therefore, it is impossible to attend gay weddings because according to the Bible they don't exist.  

Second, a gay wedding is the celebration of a homosexual marriage.  The Bible says that homosexuality is a sin against God.   As Christians, we cannot celebrate what God condemns.  

Third, we attend weddings to show our love for the people getting married.  However, does a Christian have to attend a gay wedding to show their gay friend that they love them?  Of course not.  Let's say that your non-Christian friend is a stripper, and she invites you to watch her perform.  Do you have to accept her invitation to show her that you love her?  No.  You can lovingly and respectfully decline the invitation, and explain that you cannot attend because of your commitment to Christ.  We must love gay people, but we can love them without attending their weddings.

Alistair Begg says that Christians need to attend gay weddings so that we can overcome the stereotype that Christians are judgmental and critical.  My first response to that is, "What do you mean by judgmental and critical?"  I'm sincerely asking.  If by "judgmental and critical" you mean that Christians think that some behaviors are sinful, then everyone is judgmental and critical because everyone believes that some behaviors are evil.

If by "judgmental and critical" you mean that Christians act like they are better than homosexuals, then that is wrong.  Christians are not better than homosexuals.  All of us are sinners.  We all need God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness.  But this doesn't mean that Christians should attend gay weddings.  When you decline your friend's invitation to attend her stripper show, it's not because you think you are better than her; it's because you believe that stripping is sinful, and watching a strip show is sinful, and you don't want to offend the Lord.

It is not unloving to abstain from an event if you have moral and spiritual convictions against it.  Would it be unloving for a Jew to refuse to attend a Nazi Party meeting?  No.  Would it be unloving for a black man to refuse to attend a Ku Klux Klan meeting?  Of course not.  If Christians have moral and spiritual objections to homosexuality, then it is not unloving for them to abstain from gay weddings.  They are simply abiding by their convictions.

Some Christians are under the delusion that if they were just loving enough, then unbelievers would like us and turn to Jesus.  Wrong!  Nobody is more loving than Jesus, and yet people hated Him.  They murdered Him!  And Jesus promised that they would hate us too for being His disciples.  Yes, Christians should be loving, and kind, and humble.  We should strive to imitate Christ in action and attitude.  But no amount of Christ-likeness can prevent the hatred of willful unbelievers.

But I want to turn things around for a moment.  Instead of asking if Christians should attend gay weddings, I'd like to ask, "Should homosexuals invite Christians to their weddings?"  There are three possible reasons that a homosexual would invite a committed Christian to their wedding.  First, maybe they feel obligated.  They know what you believe, and they don't expect you to come, but they love you and don't want you to feel left out.  In this case there's no pressure to attend.  No harm, no foul.  Second, maybe they don't know your beliefs.  This is understandable, especially since there are so many false and confused Christians in our country.  This is a wonderful opportunity to share the gospel with them.  You could write a letter, an email, or even have a face-to-face conversation.  Third, they are incredibly insensitive and offensive.  If they know what you believe about homosexuality but still invite you to the wedding, then that's just wrong on so many levels.  For example, I have several friends who don't celebrate Christmas because they are Jehovah's Witnesses.  It would be insensitive of me to invite them to my Christmas party, and it would be stupid of me to get angry with them for declining my invitation.  

In other words, the assertion that Christians are judgmental and critical because they don't go to gay weddings is ridiculous.  Would you be offended if your Jewish friend refused to eat your pork roast?  If you bought your Mormon colleague a cup of coffee on the way to work, would you be offended if he refused to drink it?  Following one's moral and religions convictions is not offensive.  It is respectable.  And Christians will garner more respect from homosexuals by being true to their convictions than by compromising.  

I would like to ask Alistair Begg and his supporters a question.  Should Christians attend incestuous weddings?  Should Christians attend polygamous weddings?  Polyamorous weddings?  If your best friend abandoned his wife and children to marry his mistress, would you attend the ceremony?  What about this?  This will sound crazy, but we live in crazy times.  What if your friend decided to marry his pet Rottweiler?  Would you attend the wedding?  Or what if your friend decided to marry his new AI lover?  Would you go to the wedding?  What I'm getting at is that as accepting and tolerant as you think you are, surely there is some form of wedding that you would refuse to attend because it violates your convictions and you can't in good conscience attend.  You can't support it.  You can't celebrate it.  So, if it's understandable for you to abstain from a wedding on moral or religious grounds, why can't you understand why other Christians would want to abstain from a gay wedding?

I have heard Christians say, "I'm not attending to celebrate or support the marriage, but just to support my gay friend."  First, have you clearly communicated that to your gay friend?  Second, how will you clearly communicate that to everyone else at the wedding, and everyone who hears that you attended the wedding?  While it's true that your absence may be interpreted by some as meanness, your attendance will be interpreted as support, tolerance, and acceptance of homosexuality.  That's a message Christians cannot afford to send.

As Christians we should love our LGBT neighbors.  We should talk to them, and be kind them, and serve them.  Most importantly, we should share the gospel with them.  But we must not support and celebrate their lifestyle, and that's what it means to attend a gay wedding, no matter how you slice it.

"So then, my dearly loved and longed for brothers and sisters, my joy and crown, in this manner stand firm in the Lord, dear friends (Philippians 4:1)."