How Christians Should Make Decisions (you haven't heard this before)

How can you make good decisions?  This is a highly practical question, especially when it comes to decisions like where to go to college, what to major in, which job to take, who to date, who to marry, when to have kids, how many kids to have, how to educate your kids, etc.  

The traditional way that evangelical Christians have been taught to approach this issue is to ask, "What is God's will for me in this particular decision?"  While that is an important question to ask, what it usually means is that when facing a big decision, you should ask God to show you what to do, and then expect for Him to tell you.  How will He tell you?  Through His still small voice, or inner impressions, or inward pressure, or inward urgings, or a guiding impulse.  

This all sounds very spiritual, but there are a couple of huge problems with this method of decision making.  First, it is unbiblical.  The Bible does not tell us to make decisions this way, nor does it have examples of people making decisions this way.  In the Bible, when God spoke to people it was never through impressions; it was His direct voice, or through the voice of a prophet, or through an angel.  Second, it is highly subjective, which means it is based on opinion.  The only objective way to hear God's voice is 1) through the Bible, or 2) through God's audible voice (or God speaking through an angel or prophet).  When God speaks to you this way, it is clear and undeniable.  There is no opinion involved.  There is no guesswork. There is no uncertainty.  The problem with inner impressions is there is no objective way to determine if it came from God.  Impressions can come from many sources:  God, your own desires or emotions, something you read or heard, something you saw, or even Satan himself.

This is why Christians need to get away from saying things like, "God told me to do it."  "God laid it on my heart."  "God is leading me to do such and such."  When people say these things, they don't mean that God directly spoke to them with His audible voice or through the voice of angel, but that they had an impression, a feeling, an impulse, and they assume it was from God.  But once again, how do you know it was from God?  You can't know with any certainty.  Therefore when you claim that God told you to do something or led you to do something, you are blaming God for something He might have had nothing to do with.  That's called taking God's name in vain, and it's a big sin.  It's one of the Ten Commandments (Ex 20:7).  Taking God's name in vain is not merely using God's name as a curse word, but claiming that God led you to do something that He didn't (or might not have) lead you to do.  It's claiming that God endorses or supports a particular course of action when He doesn't.  We need to stop blaming our decisions on God.

A big problem in evangelical Christianity is spiritual abuse, which often comes in the form of a Christian manipulating other Christians by saying, "God told me that you (or we) should do such and such."  Pastors do this all the time.  They go to their churches and say, "Church, God told me we should build a new building, or move to a different location, or start a new ministry."  What is the church supposed to do, disobey God?  So, even if the decisions seems foolish, the church blindly follows.  Many pastors do this because it is easier to lead the church in a new direction by saying "God told me so" than by having to persuade the church of the merits of the decision.  I just heard a sermon this week in which the pastor said that God told him the passage of Scripture he was to preach on for that sermon.  I had to wonder, did he actually hear God's audible voice, or did he just have an impulse, an urging, an impression, and assume it was from God?  When my wife was in college a pastor approached her and said, "God told me that he wants you to come to our church to be our youth minister."  Did God really tell him that?  Audibly?  Or did he merely have an impulse and blame it on God?  Fortunately my wife had enough wisdom to say, "Well, God didn't tell me that, and until He does, I'm not moving."  I've heard of Christian singles saying to one another, "God told me that we should date," or "God told me that you're going to be my wife."  Christians often use this language as a form of manipulation.  Beware.  Even if they mean well and truly believe that the idea came from God, how do they know for sure?  Again, the only objective way to hear God's voice is through Scripture and through His audible voice.  

There is a better way to make decisions.  Gary Friesen explains it in his book Decision Making and the Will of God: A Biblical Alternative to the Traditional View.  He calls this method of decision-making "The Way of Wisdom."  It has four simple steps.

1. Where God commands, we must obey.
2. Where there is no command, God gives us freedom (and responsibility to choose).
3. Where there is no command, God gives us wisdom to choose.  
4. When we have chosen what is moral and wise, we must trust the sovereign God to work all the details together for good.  

I'm going to do my best to briefly explain each step.  

First, where God commands, we must obey.  The first thing to do when making a decision is to go to God's written word and see what He has clearly said about the issue.  This is the most important step in decision-making.  It never ceases to amaze me that so many Christians skip this step.  For example, God's word clearly states that you should only marry a believer, yet I see many Christians dating and marrying non-believers. 

Second, where there is no command, God gives us freedom (and responsibility to choose).  This step should be extremely liberating.  We all make decisions this way when it comes to the routine decisions of daily life, not realizing that the same approach should be applied to the bigger decisions.  For example, how did you decide what to wear today?  Did you pray about it and wait for God's still small voice?  Or, knowing that there is no clear-cut command in the Bible about what pants to wear (other than modesty), did you just assume the freedom to choose?  Think about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.  God only gave them one command -- don't eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Other than that, they had the freedom to eat whatever they wanted.  They didn't have to ask God if they should eat apples or oranges for breakfast.  When there is no clear command in Scripture, we have the freedom (and responsibility) to choose the option that seems best to us.  Which college should you attend?  What should you major in?  Who should you marry?  Which job should you take?  If there's no clear command in Scripture, then it's up to you.  The word "responsibility" comes into play when your decision backfires on you.  It was your decision, so don't blame it on God.  In a nutshell this step means that if you are within the will of God, then do what you want to do.  

Third, where there is no command, God gives us wisdom to choose.  Where there is no command, we have freedom to choose.  However we are commanded in Scripture to be wise (Eph 5:15).  Wisdom is not optional for Christians.  Even though we have the freedom to choose, we must choose wisely.  There are a number steps we can take to make a wise decision.  First, we can search the Scriptures.  The Bible is filled with wisdom principles that can be applied to decision-making.  For example, the Bible doesn't say that it is a sin to go into debt, but it does issue strong warnings about it.  Second, we can pray about it.  Third, we do our homework and educate ourselves about the issue.  Fourth, we can (and must) seek wise counsel from people who have more knowledge, experience, and spiritual maturity.  Instead of trying to hear inner impressions from God on the matter, it more fruitful to ask, "What is the wise thing to do?"  In other words, the Bible may not say you can't do it, but that doesn't mean you should.  What is the wise thing to do?

Fourth, when we have chosen what is moral and wise, we must trust the sovereign God to work all the details together for good.  Romans 8:28 is one of my favorite verses.  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  That verse means that God is over all, constantly working in and around us for our good.  Even if you try your best to do what is moral and wise, there's no guarantee that your decision will turn out the way you want it to.  Life happens.  There's no guarantee that you will have success in your chosen major, or in your new business venture, or in your marriage, or that your kids won't rebel, or that your new ministry idea will work out.  But the good news is that God loves you, and He will work through it all for your good and His glory.  He is big enough to work through your imperfect decision making process to move you where He wants you, and He promises that He will do just that.